Nope, don’t need a paddle to get through this shit. Just need some warmer weather, and a lot less ice and cold and shit and well…shit. Spring is just around the corner (or so they say) and yet the temps are gonna hit the single digits here this week (again) and my farm is under a sheet of ice and shit and snow and did I mention, shit? And you know what happens when horse shit and 3’+ of snow melt? Shit soup. And shit creek running through the middle of the farm. Without a paddle. No joke, people. Let me tell you – that shit sucks (pun intended).

Sometimes you’re just stuck wading through knee deep shit. I’d like to say that’s figurative, but in all reality, it’s not. I’d take the pictures to prove it, but really I don’t even want to look outside right now. We have mounds of crusty gross snow, layered with horse shit, piled on ice, with some snowmelt shitrivers underneath. Anyone who says spring is better than winter I tend to ask – are you crazy? Because you don’t know spring (and how bad it sucks) until you’ve waded through knee deep shit soup that is a lovely combination of mud, snow melt, and manure.

And yes, well maybe (just maybe) there’s stuff that can be said for wading through shit to get to the good stuff at the end, kinda like the light at the end of the tunnel, no one really feels like walking head first into an oncoming train now, do they? 

Mercury is out or retrograde (really? because it sure as shit doesn’t feel like it). Some things are falling into place. Shitty things are falling apart, but I suppose that’s why they’re called shitty. Every horse and owner on the farm is sick of the shit (again…pun intended…see a theme here yet?) of riding in the indoor and dealing with limited workouts and sore horses from slipping on ice and…you guess it, shit!

So I’d like to drink some wine. Toast all the awesome visibility this blog has started to get in the past few months, thank all of my followers from all over the world, and tell you that shit, I’m sorry I haven’t blogged more! But, as the snow-shit melts, and I get out more, expect more great, awesome pics of amazing places and things to do and fun and wine and beer and Jack and all that good shit! Starting off with a trip to Denver this week to see some of the most amazing people in the world, followed by some more really cool shit.

Ahh, the wonderful uses of the word shit. And shit, with that, I’m signing off…for now. Maybe instead of my favorite hashtags of #whiskeyoclock and #wineoclock, I should make a new one #shitsoclock or #goodshit. How about #happyshit? Nah that sounds corny. I think #goodshit really kinda sticks (because well, it does, at least here on the farm…to your shoes, your clothes, your horse, the ground, the carpets, and everything else around you).


Damn, I may be ready for summer. And that’s shit I never say!

Yup, there is. Red Velvet wine by Cupcake winery. And it’s gooooood. Especially if you have mini red velvet cupcakes along with it. I’m not really a fan of cream cheese icing but whomever made these red velvet cupcakes really outdid themselves with the icing because it’s not overly cream-cheesey and tastes soooo good with the wine. I think I have a new favorite combination – who knew wine went well with cupcakes?

So that was my Sunday night. Last week was a blur and I don’t think I’ve blogged all week which is just crazy so here I am rambling away about red velvet wine and procrastinating more work which has been driving me crazy lately. That and these sub-zero temps that have me up every 2 hours to put wood on the stove and keep the house warm through the night is enough to make me feel like I’m a part of the walking dead. Can it be spring yet? Please?

There, I said it. Yes, me, who loves winter and snow, and spent all of December cheering for more snow….I. Am. Done.

At least all the forecasts were wrong for kicking off March with a monster storm that would last Sunday to Tuesday, since well, it’s Tuesday and this is the first span of a few days where we haven’t seen a snowflake fall from the sky. Novel concept really. A day without more snow. Just you wait, pretty soon it will be spring. Maybe. I hope. Hey, at least daylight savings is coming soon so I can ride my horses more come out of hibernation. I’d say ride more, but everything is still snow and ice covered and frozen, so yeah. There’s that.

Red velvet wine, anyone? Oooh they even made an inforgraphic so you can pair your wine correctly with your cupcakes. Innovative!

I’ve dubbed today #tmstuesday (rather than #tmituesday) where the “s” stands for “snow”. I went back and reviewed the weather over the past three weeks and it looks something like this:

• Sun – Mon 2/2 – 2/3, snow (about 4″-5″)
• Wed – Thurs 2/5 – 2/6, snow (12+”)
• Sun 2/9 snow (an inch or two)
• Thurs – Friday 2/13 – 2/14, shittons of snow (about 2′)
• Sat 2/15, snow (3″-4″)
• Sun 2/16, snow (2″)

A for effort, UPS

And I bet you can’t guess what it’s doing right now. Oh look, it’s snowing…again. Really. 3″-5″ anticipated for today. Tomorrow? You guessed it, snow. This time in a wintry mix. Then 50 by the end of the week for pure melting chaos dropping to highs in the 20s by early next week in time to turn all this snow into a giant icicle. We have well over 3′ on the ground. Not inches…feet. FEET. THREE FEET of snow. I live in New Jersey. Sure, in the mountains of NJ, but if you ask my friends out in Denver, they’ll tell you it’s more like the hills of NJ, Denver has the real mountains. Guess what it’s doing in Denver? 40s – 50s and sun. Hey Denver, we have your weather. You can take it back now.

Seriously. Bald tires, 2 non-running snowmobiles and it’s like adding insult to injury. On a positive note, I just picked up some side work that will cover the tires. Of course you know that means as soon as I get that done, it won’t snow again for the rest of the year. Oh, the irony!

UPS did however finally make it to me to deliver my new riding breeches and they fit absolutely amazingly! Now if only I had somewhere to ride, the horses are even bored of the indoor.

Now you understand why there are things like breakfast whiskey, strong coffee, and chocolate. Oh, and wine. That is all. 

Whiskey, the best way to forget the snow

For those of you that don’t know, on top of the snow from last week (4″-5″ Monday, 12″+ Wednesday), this week we had another storm that dumped about 2′. We have over 3′ of snow on the ground with no where else for it to go. Oh wait, then yesterday it snowed. Just another 3″-4″, not even enough for a storm warning anymore, that’s just child’s play at this point. And wait, today guess what? Yup. It’s snowing. Want to know the forecast for tomorrow into Tuesday? I give you one guess…

SNOW

Seriously I love the white stuff, but the fact that I just got my truck back from the shop for the first time this year (don’t ask…bent the bumper sliding on ice at under 20mph and the entire computer malfunctioned, and computer was on backorder from the dealer for over a month, thank goodness for insurance), and my tires are bald. Add to that the fact that I own 2 snowmobiles – one racing sled, and one trail sled and NEITHER one has been tuned up or running since we haven’t had a good snow year since 2009/2010 and since I oh so wonderfully got laid off from work in September (happy Labor Day? oh the irony…) and didn’t have the money to set aside to pay for them to get tuned up and get the minor work they needed actually done.

Yes, so we have over 3′ of beautiful snow. More snow than Sochi, where the winter olympics is being held. I even jumped off my 2nd story deck (thank you Pendleton Whiskey for the inspiration!) into 6’+ of snow in my very own created olympic sport – The Whiskey Jump (yes there is a video, and it’s hysterical if I say so myself). And I have bald tires, no running sleds, but hey, I have plenty of whiskey. Thank goodness. I mean really, this is starting to wear even on me. And I LOVE snow. Usually. With sleds. And decent truck tires…

Note you can’t see anything behind me.  That’s not a special effect. It’s called that much fucking snow.

There’s whiskey in my coffee, and now it’s almost 5PM so there will next be whiskey in my soda. Or just in a glass on it’s own. Who knows. At this rate, I’ll be snowed in til May. Of course my wonderful friends in FL were nice enough to send me this.

Gee, thanks Bryan… rub it in why don’t ya?

Bryan is in Ocala at the HITS horse show, where I was also supposed to be if airlines were’t assholes (thankyouverymuch United) and didn’t try to charge MORE in change fees than the cost of the actual flight. So I’m not there. Instead, I’m here in NJ where it is snowing. Still. Holly is in FL too, but she’s driving at the moment (also to Ocala area) and was nice enough too busy driving to send me another shot of beautiful Florida sunshine. I’m sure she’ll send me one later. Or tomorrow. When it’s snowing here. More. Again. Still. Forever…

Yes, you read that right folks, “The Whiskey Jump” is the title of this blog post. Why, do you ask? Well, that’s because there is presently more natural snow in NJ than there is in Sochi, and in keeping with all of the #sochifail fun that’s been going on, I decided to add a new event to the 2014 Olympics, that was held right here in NJ this afternoon.

Now, before you get upset at the #sochifail stuff, let me just say that I’ve been watching and following the Olympics nightly, and have been loving every minute of it. I think Sage Kostenburg’s slopestyle win was stunning (he pulled that winning trick for the first time ever – ever even attempted – in that winning run. Just WOW!), Julia Mancuso is wonderful to watch, the half pipe was amazing, Shaun White coming in fourth, but graciously and enthusiastically congratulating the winners was awesome to watch, and the tie in women’s downhill between Dominique Gisin and Tina Maze nearly had me in tears (I used to be a competitive skiier when I was younger). 

All that said, there’s still fun to be had when we’re getting several feet of snow, and the Olympians are dealing with slushy conditions in a summer resort town in Russia. It was 63 degrees there yesterday…SIXTY-THREE. It’s been three here lately at night (and sometimes colder). So, to keep a sense of humor, after spending 4 hours shoveling off the deck to keep it from collapsing, I decided hey, what good is all the snow if you can’t have a little fun (and whiskey) in it? 

Just like that, the Whiskey Jump was born.

Without further adieu, I bring you the gold medal run of The Whiskey Jump, completed by yours truly, with the help of Pendleton Whiskey (and my friend Jon who filmed this). Note: it should go without saying that you shouldn’t try this at home. Clearly I am an adult and a professional. Or pretending to be. Sometimes. Okay, hardly ever. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/v/8Yv0AihvG5o?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata

Call me crazy, but I LOVE WINTER. Let it snow!

Thanks, Jon!

Many thanks to Jon, the videographer, for his help in the making of this video, and to Pendleton Whiskey for being great.

Okay guys, it’s not regularly that I get on here and get all sappy and emotional and ask for help. As a matter of fact, I usually reserve that sap for my other blog, cjsunquietmind.com. But today I need your help. Pay it forward, share a moment, a dime, a prayer, or whatever you can spare and please read this story. David is my dear friend’s uncle, and his story is heartbreaking in so many ways. The hardest part is finding the means for him to continue his fight. So if you can find it in your heart to help, every little bit does. Prayers, good vibes, a dollar or a dream, whatever you have to share.

Long story short, he’s worked his entire life, and suffered several debilitating strokes that were later traced to a brain tumor that nearly claimed his life. He’s now fighting for his life with the support of his friends and family. Read his story to find out more.

Much love,
CJ

Well, fuck. That’s about all I have to say about this day. This blog was supposed to go live this morning, I was supposed to be sampling breakfast whiskey, and everything was supposed to be ready to go and none of that happened. Instead it’s nearly 5PM, I just ate something for the first time today, and finally on my umpteenth cup of coffee, added in some whiskey. Either way, I’ve had all three kinds of whiskey and am well on my way to working them into my breakfast lunch dinner whatever meal this is, and am still going to post my guide to breakfast whiskey below. I say it’s officially whiskeyoclock, so here goes!

What is breakfast whiskey, you ask? Is there really such a thing? Who the hell knows, but in my world there is and so I’ve decided to write about it.

First we’ll start with Cabin Fever. It’s an 80 proof real whiskey not just some flavored schnapps or cordial that’s maple flavored. Imagine syrup. With whiskey. A little to sweet for my taste on its own, it goes awesomely over pancakes and in coffee on a snowy winter day. Not a fan of it chilled, but slightly warm with some pure maple syrup is heaven. Also good on vanilla ice cream (that’s the only time I like it chilled), and it sure helps for those long winter days when you have cabin fever…like today. As I sit here staring at a foot of snow.

Next in line is Laird’s Apple Jack, a smooth whiskey blend with – you guessed it – apple flavor. But like the other whiskeys on here, these aren’t sissy whiskeys. Also coming in at 80 proof, it has a very light apple flavor that doesn’t overpower the taste of the whiskey. Made in New Jersey (yes, really) and it’s gooooooood. Laird is one of America’s oldest family run distilleries, and I tried this today in its coffee as well as on its own and I like it either way. I haven’t tried it on pancakes or ice cream, but I really think that’s something reserved for Cabin Fever. However, this does well on the rocks, and is great any time of day, though if you’re like me you can categorize it in the “apple a day” category and justify it anytime you like.

Finally, since 1884, is Hochstadter’s Slow & Low Union Made Whiskey. With touches of orange and honey (boasted on the label) this gives the taste of good old fashioned whiskey or bourbon with a touch of Grand Marnier. Now I may be biased as I have a penchant for Grand Marnier, but this was my favorite. Good any time of day, it did great in coffee, hot cocoa (that hint of orange & honey with the chocolate was to die for!), and even over fruit, pancakes, and just about anything else you could think of. It also did a good job of accompanying me through a few seasons of Justified, and I expect to see more of this bottle in my future. Coming in at the highest of the three at 84 proof, it’s so smooth to sip that I warn you – be careful! I drank more than I realized until the next morning the bottle was running low. Eeeps! But damn is it good!

So without further adieu, here’s the three whiskeys (the Cabin Fever is an older bottle so it was already empty – sorry to disappoint, and what can I say, I already told you the Slow & Low was my favorite…). Complete with snowed in backdrop and a snow shovel next to the bottles. Ahh the joys of being snowed in!

The Whiskey Drinker’s Guide to Breakfast Whiskey

In case you haven’t heard live under a rock, it’s going to storm in the northeast tomorrow and the midwest is already getting pounded. Storm models vary from a few inches, to 6″-10″ or more, and potentially ice/sleet/freezing rain mixed in or on top making for especially fun driving conditions. So of course I made sure to run out today so that I am prepared for being snowed in. Since I’m clearly the responsible one here, I figured I’d share my list with you so that you can also be prepared.

This Pubic Service Announcement is brought to you by Life Without A Paddle: Winter Storm Preparedness Advisory

1. Bring in wood to heat the house (assuming you have a wood stove like I do). Otherwise, be sure your oil/propane tank is full. If you have electric heat, be prepared to spend a fortune and a half, or just freeze. I stuck to bringing in wood for the stove.
2. Go to store to get necessities. Necessities include wine and whiskey. Presently I’m sampling two kinds of whiskey to review which are more of the breakfast whiskey type. Or dessert whiskey. I prefer them with breakfast and coffee. But I digress. I’ll post that blog tomorrow morning when I’ve resorted to drinking with my morning coffee to make the weather outlook appear less bleak.



3. Forget salt, cat litter, eggs, milk, or bread. Who really needs this stuff anyway? You can always toss the cats outside to pee in the snow with the dogs. I mean it’s only fair. Why do the dogs have to go outside but the cats get to have an indoor bathroom?  Pish posh, time to be fair to the dogs and make the cats man up. Salt is just for if you’re planning on shoveling your walkways, which with nearly a foot of snow is not in the plans. Have you met me? If only they’d invent super-salt that would make shoveling obsolete. Can someone get on that already, please? And who needs eggs, milk, and bread, when you have the three W’s covered. Wood, wine, and whiskey. Save your money for after the storm when you can actually make it out to the bars and drink in public to celebrate the survival of Snowpocalypse. Come on now, let’s be conservative with our spending. It’s gong to be Snowmageddon out there.
   
   

4. Attempt yoga to loosen up screamingly mad back from lame attempt at shoveling yesterday’s half-frozen crusty snow to prepare for tomorrow’s storm coupled with massive amounts of wood being brought in via wheelbarrow and loaded/unloaded/stacked by hand. Perhaps alternative heating methods aren’t all they are cracked up to be.



5. Reevaluate life choices.
6. Laugh at shovel next to front door as your back post-yoga is just as mad at you as it was pre-yoga.
7. Burn self on wood stove for millionth time.
8. Open wine.
9. Pour wine in glass.
10. Say fuck it, chug glass, and proceed to drinking right out of the bottle.
11. Save whiskey for breakfast when you wake up and again question your life choices.
12. Survive storm.

Recently I had the opportunity to try the new Fabletics yoga line of workout gear. No, I didn’t get it for free, I had to pay like everyone else, but I was pleasantly surprised. Now mind you that there is a membership catch which is how they sucker you in, but I’ll go through all that and give you some tips on the good, bad, and ugly.

I found Fabletics via a Facebook promoted post (oooh those pesky things) but it’s designed by/with Kate Hudson and I just adore her. I have to admit, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting her on set in NYC years ago and she’s every bit as lovely in person as she is in the movies, and she’s pleasant to talk to as well. So I click through the ad, and go to the site and take a look around. Entire yoga outfits for half off? As low as $30? Sounds too good to be true.

Well, it is. The catch is that by ordering, you agree to join their club and subscribe for a $50 charge to your card towards new outfits every month. Wait a second…a new yoga outfit every month? I haven’t bought myself new clothes in years, forget about workout stuff. Who the hell can afford new yoga gear monthly? Well, Kate can I’m sure but the irony of all of this is that she likely gets it all for free anyway. Blech.

So now I imagine I’ll look like this very soon..

But there’s a really cute outfit, and it’s cheap, and it’s going to sell out soon so I just have to have it. Yes, I work in marketing, and yes I fall for the same gimmicks I regularly write. Don’t judge. It’s been a long few weeks/months. And I work from home, so now I have a reason to get out of my pajamas – new yoga gear! Yay!

Of course as soon as the order was processed, I went online to cancel the subscription but it won’t let you. You have to call in and they have limited business hours. I made sure to put a million and one appointments and reminders in my calendar and fortunately it worked. I remembered to call and cancel. That was easy enough, took less than 5 minutes on the phone, and I still got my half price outfit.

When it arrived, I have to say I was thrilled! It looked great, felt great, and fit really well. I’m usually between a med and a large (I need to lose weight…who doesn’t these days…) but the mediums fit really comfortably without making me feel like a whale or stuffed sausage.  And they are even nice enough that I’d run to the store like this. Then again I do live in a rural area and would probably run to the store in my PJs. But hey, I got out of PJ’s to work from the couch, and it’s about time that maybe I actually DO some yoga in this new yoga gear of mine haha!

Have you found any great deals you love lately? Share them in the comments below! Okay, time for a yoga break for me.

Well it’s been one hell of a week, that’s for sure. Last Friday I worked til 2AM, and this week I don’t think I’ve made it to be before 1:30AM even once. Last night I was woken up on my couch by my cat wanting to know when we were going to actually go to bed. I have no idea what time I feel asleep, but I know it was after 2. All in the name of working for myself!

There’s a big conference this weekend (AETA) in the horse industry that I’m going to, and on top of getting ready for that, I’ve had a ton of client work to do as well as picking up some new work so that I (hopefully) won’t be as broke as I’ve been.

I’ve forgotten to eat more times than not, and at the present I’m eating the super healthy combination of scrounged from the upstairs fridge microwave mac and cheese mixed with a can of some of the worst chili you can imagine. Yes, I make home made versions of both, but considering it’s after 10PM and I’m just eating now, I went with the easy lazy option. Mixed together they normally taste great, but the cheap version…notsomuch. Oh well. I’m going to have heartburn for days, I can feel it already. Hey, at least I don’t have to blame it on the wine! Which I may have been drinking like it’s my job. To stay sane, of course. Only I’m out tonight. Sad for me. Drive through, maybe?

So I leave you with this – dinner the other night. I actually did stop long enough to make whole wheat pasta with chicken breast and kale in a light olive oil sauce and a dusting of parmesan romano cheese. YUM! And wine. And that’s water in the moonshine jar, mostly because I was being hopeful (and it was the biggest glass I had).

I’m taking Monday off, because the conference runs through the weekend. So for a change, I’m saying, “Is it Monday yet?”. Of course I’ll probably be spending the day splitting and stacking wood so I have heat, but who knows, maybe I’ll figure out just how to veg out on the couch and even nap or something. Ooooh…sounds delightful! And now – last minute touch-ups before bed then off to AETA in the morning!