The best part of life is being your own superhero. When you can live life as yourself, with a passion and focus and drive – and above all, independence – that shows the world, you don’t need to be saved. You’re no damsel in distress. You’ve got this.
I’ve got this.
That doesn’t mean that I never need help. I do. And I am lucky enough to have some amazing friends that are there for me when I need them and I am there for them in return. Even superheroes need help from time to time. And no one should ever feel that they need to go it alone.
So why then is it so hard to understand this when I tell you I don’t need to be saved? I see this with my friends being told over and over the perfect guy is right there, or right here, or he really likes you and is a good guy so you should be with him. Should I? Should you? Should she? Really? What about the part that maybe I/you/she doesn’t WANT to be with him? What if all he wants is someone to protect and save, and that’s not what she ever needed at all?
Just how much of this is the #metoo movement and it’s reverberations throughout society and how much of this is basic male instinct or well, I don’t even know what anymore. I just know that I’m over it. I just want someone to BE with. Not to be saved, rescued, lost, or found. To just BE. Be me. Is that so much to ask?
You see, I can already take care of myself. One would think at 41 years old, I should be able to (but there is much of society these days that cannot, so who am I to say). I have my own home and farm to live on (rent or own, I don’t care, the point is, I live here, it’s home to me). I live on my own. I take care of my own horses and cats and dogs and chickens. I don’t have kids, but I am capable of taking care of my freind’s kids when I need to (mostly. I know to feed them and give them water, and a tv remote + a kitten will make even a sick kid feel better). I can rewire my own quad (and have to this spring). I have snowmobiles, and love mudding, sledding, and camping. I have a diesel truck and a rather large rig (horse trailer with LQ) and have been hauling a trailer myself for as long as I’ve had a license.
I have help when I need it, but also greatly enjoy doing a lot of this myself. I guess what’s most baffling to me is the fact that this is really who I am. It’s not some act to get someone interested. I LOVE sports (just ask my friends), beers + darts in The Dugout (my own game room at the farmhouse) is a favorite past time, and I genuinely am an outdoorsy person that you can find sitting on my four wheeler at the lake fishing for a large mouth bass to grill for dinner on just about any given day after work in the summer.
Funny thing is, I see more and more of my friends who are independent strong women struggling with these same things when it comes to the men in their lives.
We’re not damsels in distress, or waiting for a hero. We already are our own superheroes. We just need you to be YOU. And by that, I mean bring your own hobbies and strengths and superheroness to the table. Wow me with who you are, what you love, and what makes you awesome. Not what you can do for me – this isn’t a job interview or some planning for a future shopping spree. I have my own money to buy things, thankyouverymuch. No, I’d much rather you have your own life and passions and such, and learn about those.
Sure, there are girls out there that are still impressed that you can beat up their ex if they want, buy them dinner all the time (it’s okay to treat – that’s nice, but not a reason to date you in my book), and to rescue them from whatever bad situation they put themselves in next. Sorry, I’d much rather make better decisions, avoid those bad situations, and get to spend time with you over a rare steak and aged whiskey where great conversations flow. Is it that hard to see?
Why do Average Joes think that they deserve Supergirl?
Sometimes people only see the Clark Kent and never realize they’re standing next to Superman. Or Supergirl. So what? Does it really matter?
It matters to me.
It matters to me because I find it incredibly frustrating when me or one of my friends gets the line – oh you should date him, he’d totally take care of you. Or – you just need to open your eyes to realize you’ve had someone right in front of you all along who would make sure you never had any more problems. Really? Like that’s a thing.
What? Do you think I am blind? I can see who’s right in front of me. I always have. I’m not stupid. Just waiting for that spark. Something DIFFERENT. Did you really think Supergirl would date Average Joe? She’s probably got plans with Superman after they’re both done saving their own respective days. So please, be a superhero. To your friends, your kids, your family, and above all, yourself. I’ll meet you for dinner after you’re done and we can catch up on our days and the things we love most in life, together.