Well I did finally get my tree up, lit, and fully decorated, but it wasn’t easy…it’s a long story littered with fuck ups, disasters, a perpetually broken down truck, and a whole lot of other shit. But hey, if you think you had a rough week, have a seat and laugh at mine!

This is how my week went.  Monday was heads down working all day and catching up after the long weekend, typical for a Monday.  Then Tuesday I check my nearly empty bank account and find that the credit card company I’ve been using too $99 out of  my account with no warning and no explanation.  I call them, flipping out, and get the runaround.  Took 2 calls and 3 tries to actually get a rep on the phone, and then all I am told is that it’s some IRS reporting fee.  Bullshit.  Basically it’s an excuse for Commerce Payment Systems to charge you out the wazoo.  They claim to be so much cheaper than Intuit, but let me tell you, it’s all crap. They have hidden fees, their rates change whenever they feel like without warning, and you never know what’s going to be taken out of your account.

So I fired them. Only I found out you need to fill out some form before they allow you to fire them. And in the meantime they tell me it could take up to 30 – 60 days for my “refund request” for the random $99 to be processed, if approved.  IF APPROVED? Eff that! Hang up on them, and call my bank and put a stop payment on the charge.  Then I call Intuit and while rewiring the ABS line on my truck, that was causing the ABS light to come on, the ABS system to be off, and 4WD not to work.  You know, little necessities when oh, towing a horse trailer, and living in the mountains heading into winter.  As I’m fixing that, the Intuit rep gets me all set up and approved for an account and BAM! Done. Recurring billing included, all for less than the BS with Commerce Payment Systems.  Thank goodness!

Yes, it’s still Tuesday at this point and knowing the weather this week is going to be touch and go, I decide hey, well it’s only 8PM why not put up the tree? I at least managed to get the tree inside, and opened without Jack peeing on it (success!).  Some of my lights still work, but the tree looked kinda half-lit so I figured I’d get more lights on Wednesday when I went to see my family before my sister heads home to New Zealand.  I manage to eat dinner at 11PM (leftover turkey again) and get to bed by 2AM.  Reasonable-ish.

So much better than Wal-Mart

Well the truck wires are fixed and I head to see my brother so we can tape up the wires for good. Simple enough, right? Oh wait, except now my radiator is leaking antifreeze all over.  Crap.  After dinner, I get sealant, and then stop at Target on the way home from my Dad’s.  Get the lights I need and few Christmas gifts and I’m back on my way home in under an hour. Awesome! Until I get almost home and stop for gas. And I don’t have my wallet. CRAP.  I call Target, and amazingly, the manager is able to find it IN A SHOPPING CART in the cart return outside in the lot. Wow I’m brilliant, I actually managed to pack the car with what I bought and take my wallet off my wrist and off the front seat of the car and put it in the cart – where it hasn’t been at all while shopping – and return the cart with my wallet in it. WTF is wrong with me? No, I wasn’t drinking. I did this entirely sober, all on my own.  Brilliance at its finest, I tell you.  So I turn around and drive the 30 min back to get it, then back home.  Of course I had my dogs with me so as soon as we got home, now about 10PM, I feed them and they proceed to puke from driving in circles on the highway. Awesome.

Hey, but I have lights on the tree.  Yup, 11PM on Wed, and I decide that I’m going to put the damn lights on the tree if it kills me.  It almost does.  Fortunately I have some wine here that helps.  Tree lit, garland with lights around the doorway hung. And I’m in bed nice and early like I planned exhausted and stressed by 3AM. Yay hump day…

Sooooooo Thursday will be better, right? Sure. Get up and do some stuff in the barn and get ready to trailer a horse that was adopted. Well the fucker WILL NOT GET ON THE TRAILER. Refuses.  We try every trick in the book, feed, treats, even a blindfold. And nope, he’s not scared, just standing all droopy lip and half asleep looking at us like, “hey assholes, just so you know, I’m not getting on this trailer.” Awesome. 1h later, the adopters say they’re going to jog home. With the horse. They live about 6 miles away, he runs marathons, and his wife will follow him in the car. Welcome to my world. Who needs a horse trailer, when you can just jog the horse there?

Back inside to work, and oh wow, early night for me! I’m done and eating dinner by 9pm.  That’s gotta be some sort of personal record. Even having turkey and stuffing for the umpteenth day in a row tastes like a gourmet meal.  And the wine – shit I don’t even know what kind it was. It was wine. Because that was my week, and it’s not over yet. But it’s Friday. TGIF. Do I get some sort of award for making it through the week? Pretty please? See, and you thought your week was crazy. Could you imagine if I had kids? Hahahaha just that thought makes me need some Jack Daniels. Oh dear.

Hey at least the tree is up and the stockings hung…