Beauty and intelligence comes in many forms, and all shapes and sizes  and colors and ages of people. It’s when we stop to interpret them for the body they are in that we begin to see them through the filter of our own experiences and lose sight of the soul within.

The past few months have been transformative. I’ve met, connected, and reconnected with people form all walks of life and learned so much. A few incredible teenagers brought out the best in me by helping me see that I am valued. They’ve included me in their important life events, called out to me to join them on the chairlift, introduced me to even younger children who look up to them, and it all makes me smile. Like the Lion King, it’s all part of the circle of life.

There are still the “others,” but, it would seem like the Pulitzer Prize-winning halftime lyricist pointed out in a message lost on most, the “others” are not the same as us. And not in the obvious ways you may think – because in many ways they may look like us, or be similar to us, but at their core there is a difference. Not their color or looks or how they choose to spend their time. Remove the filter of your own judgement for a moment. What do you see? It’s not that they look different, it’s that their soul is different. Or, rather, disconnected.

When a soul and a body are disconnected, it’s a horrible thing to experience. It’s horrible to live through it because in the moment, in that time when you are disconnected, your trauma has taken over you and you can’t even feel the way you should feel emotions. It’s like you’re almost devoid of them. But worse, your ego keeps making poor choices out of desperation from disconnection from your soul. But it’s a catch 22. The worse choices you make, the worse your situation becomes and so the cycle perpetuates. It takes a strong person to break that cycle, and a strong support system around them.

Sometimes that support comes in the form of a wake up call – a near miss, a too-close for-comfort call, a rock bottom or nightmare-come-true kind of feeling or happening. Sometimes that comes with the help of others around you who scream at you and shake you, build guardrails and barriers to keep you safe, and even step back and get you help when what you need is more than they can offer.

Sometimes, though, that cycle is broken in the darkness of a cold winter night, clouds covering the soon-to-be full moon. Or perhaps it finds you on the mountain chasing snowflakes and carving runs. Or maybe, around the fire pit out back laughing with friends. Or, even when someone you barely know calls out to you and says hey! Great to see you! Let’s hang for a while. Or I’m honored you’re using my photo in your blog (thank you! 💙).

It’s in those moments that life feels a little less alone. Not lonely – at least not for me anyway. I need my alone time as much as I need time with friends but for the most part I am a loner and prefer to travel alone, driving myself to / from wherever I am going, the only passengers in my car are my 3 snowboards. It’s freedom, and it’s good and I love it. And I love company too. And sharing life with people I am starting to see without a filter. Through to their soul. Letting go of the ones that wrap themselves in filters disconnected from their souls. Letting them judge me without it ever orbiting my circle because I know their judgement is about them, they’re just too afraid to look in the mirror and say it to their face.

And its welcoming with open arms friends new and old, family who reminded me today, “blood’s thicker than water,” and friends who are family who also always have my back, even when they don’t know what’s going on in my head.

I’ll get there. One day at a time. I’ll share more and open up about where I am in the present mindset, and stop trying to pre-write the future from reruns of my past on binge in my brain. For now? Right now I’m happy to just sit here and soak it all in. Unfiltered.